Jesus Freak

My father used to be a preacher. He gave it up mind. He's still a salesman though, don't get me wrong, but at least now he knows what he's selling.

They called it revival. It started somewhere in Canada, Tornonto or some place. People were being healed they said, 'Jesus is coming soon' they said. All sounded fine to me. I was twelves years old and on an ordinary Sunday morning, I stared out of our family car window, watching the dreary Slough skyline flashing past, and pondered what this Jesus would be like. I wasn't sure he'd be too happy with me mind. Masturbating in the shower, groping girls in the corridor, shooting swans on the Thames...it didn't look good.

This Sunday afternoon would be different though, we were told. The children would not depart as per usual for their individual meetings, but would instead stay with the adults in the main hall. My friend Mark had Spina bifida and he sat across from me, looking bored in his wheel chair. I smiled and waved over to him. He smiled, nodded at the stage and rolled his eyes. Some old American guy in a light blue suit took the platform. Rodney Howard Brown or something like that. Mark and I had seen his kind before, the Tv evangelists and miracle workers, vessels for the holy spirit. He was already sweating, shouting into the microphone and instantly things began to happen.

The old guy with gold rings on every finger started shaking violently, people raised their hands, spoke their own language; grown men began to cry like school girls, old women danced around, someone started screaming like a mad person whilst the guy on stage cried 'come out Satan.' Satan? I'm all for seeing him.

I didn't see Satan though that afternoon, and I didn't see any miracles either. Mark sat back in his wheelchair, refusing to be taken up onto the stage for yet another failed miracle attempt to save his mangled bones. Instead we both laughed at the old woman lying on the floor, her skirt over her head with her baggy underwear for everyone to see. I laughed and looked up at the sky through the windows overhead. Grey clouds and it began to rain. I thought of the girls at school and slipped away, like a thief...to the men's toilets.